Poo-no OR Poo, no!...full disclosure

Our see and do all tour of Peru continued with an uncomfortable bus ride from Cusco to Puno. Unfortunately, we were completely misled and found ourselves on a completely different bus than what we signed up for. As usual, the bus left at an ungodly early hour and, powerless in our post-trek state of deliriousness, we were stuck in this unpleasant situation. After the four hours we were told it would take to get to Puno came and went, we were relieved to finally catch sight of Puno and Lago Titicaca. However, our adventure had just begun...because our bus abruptly side-swiped a mini-van and further confusion ensued. The large bus sustained no injuries; the modestly sized South American style mini-van did not fare as well...

We fled the bus terminal as quickly as possible, cursing the San Luis company as we went, and made our way to Hospedaje Virgen de Copacabana. Though Lonely Planet described this hostel as charming and quaint, when Emily asked us from the taxi how the hostel looked, the only word that came to mind was ¨dilapidated¨. Once inside, we found an odd collection of Cabbage Patch style dolls with a surprising Christmas theme. The owner was a kind older woman, but we felt like we were staying with a friend´s (quirky) great aunt.

Skipping ahead, the next day we set off for a two day tour of Lago Titicaca that included three islands: Uros, Amantani and Taquile. Uros is the famed collection of floating island with a foundation made of reeds. Walking on the cushy reeds is like stepping on a large sponge; we amused ourselves by bouncing around and trying on the local fashions complete with embroidered skirt, hat and blouse. Later that afternoon we sailed to Amantani for an overnight with a local family. We were met by Liz, the 15 year old daughter of the island´s leader, who prepared us a delicious lunch of quinoa soup, potatoes and queso fresca (Peru´s favorite, and only, cheese) accompanied by a vegetable medley, followed by muña tea (similar to mint and equally refreshing). We hiked to the top of the island to see the ruins of a temple to Pachamama and watch the sun set over the Lake. Once again we were forced to adapt our lesbian couple persona as we found ourselves in such a quintissentially romantic situation. To complicate matters, we could hardly force our muscles to walk the relatively short path to the top of the island after four days of the Inca´s version of the stairmaster. Back at the house, we met the rest of our host family and dined in their tight kitchen consisting of a hole in the dirt wall filled with kindling and iron pots boiling over with a Peruvian version of chicken noodle soup and quinoa. We enjoyed this along with rice (again) and a Spanish-style tortilla, akin to our notion of an omelette. Our hosts took us to a ¨fiesta" where we were dressed up in traditional Amantani skirts, blouses, jackets, elaborate belts (much more like a corset) and shawl head covering. Escorted by Emily, our hombre, we arrived at the dance in style. Four men played traditional live music as we were loosely taught a folk dance that involved ferocious pulling and turning across the dance floor. Thoroughly exhausted, we fell into bed after 20 minutes of removing clothing and another 10 minutes of navigating our way to the outhouse style bathroom that was quite a distance from the main building. It consisted of a stone basin that for all intents and purposes did not appear to flush, thus garnering our sympathy for whomever got the lucky job of dealing with our ever-present digestive issues.

Day 2 of our Lake tour began with hearty pancakes, a swift goodbye to the family, and a boat ride to Taquile. As the most touristy island, Taquile felt much more economically stable and commercial. Our guide took us to lunch where we feasted on trucha (trout) and learned about...um...the local population? Too much dramamine...

We returned to Puno with a renewed sense of how different our world is and bought bus tickets to Arequipa for the next chapter of our Peruvian adventure.

Highlights reel:

1. As our title suggests, our respective digestive systems had reactions to Puno spanning both ends of the spectrum. Once again, Anjali spent her time touring Puno´s "bathrooms", toilet paper in hand, while Devon jealously waited outside.

2. Unfortunately, Anjali can never return to Puno because, on one of many bathroom exits, she managed to tuck her skirt attractively into her hefty travel underwear. Though Devon tried to give a girl a hand, the situation could not be remedied. Free show. We need to start charging.

3. On our island tour, we met 5 Spanish women of various ages traveling together through Peru. In conversing with them, they gave us the inspiration and hope to continue traveling with friends in the future.

4. To make our mothers proud, we performed a series of yoga poses for Emily´s timed camera in front of the setting sun and Pachamama´s ruins. We elicited many stares from the other tourists. Free show. We need to start charging.

5. We upgraded bus companies and made it to Arequipa sans accident. Goodbye Puno, forever Poo-no in Devon´s mind.